Editing Perfectionism
Proactive Refining VS Unproductive Perfectionism
Short-cuts to success are probabilistically rare, and there isn’t a person that knows this more than the master perfectionist. While working diligently to ensure quality, is a very good thing, perfectionists have tendencies of setting and aiming towards excessively heightened standards combined with overly critical evaluations of oneself, other people, and things. Ultimately, this can be astonishingly unrealistic, thus unproductive. Perfectionistic behavior delays the individual from expanding their experiences and dealing with a larger array of predicaments that could potentially teach them how to solve real issues and master their subject of interest. Fundamentally speaking, perfectionism is a repulsion to being in the wrong.
Yes, while no one wants to be wrong, individuals with perfectionistic tendencies attempt to rise above and beyond what is required of the task(s) to ensure that they are competent or correct at all costs, in their actions, through their words, and beyond. Perfectionists fear ineptitude, yet ironically stifle themselves from their fullest potential in the process of their strivings, limiting the opportunities that could have optimized their personal growth.
“At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success.”
— Michael Law
Everyone has their own set of fundamental fears which are often deeply set, irrational, unproductive, and unconscious lenses. While the origination of how these fears cultivated perfectionism remains a mystery, the most proactive thing people who struggle with this can do is zoom in on what essential tasks can be done. While “zooming in on essentials” sounds like too simple of a solution to fix this stumbling block of perfectionism and progress forwards, focusing on the essentials is the only way people can move past their idealistic guise of what they consider to be “perfect”.
People who struggle with perfectionistic behavior, remember these three words.
i. purpose
ii. action
iii. outlet
Purpose
Purpose delineated is something set up as an object or end to be attained; intention; resolution; determination
When you understand the underlying reasons or convictions as to why you are willing to press forwards and resolve towards “some end goal”, something incredible happens. People’s negative opinions of you, potential mess-ups, or setbacks fail to throw you off the course and make you quit. Hence, purpose intertwined in each endeavor you set yourself towards cultivates the mental clarity necessary for an individual to focus on things of higher value and eliminate unnecessary mental turmoil.
The purpose for your strivings far outweighs the cacophony of distractions that scream for your attention. This focus on the vision eliminates all mental clutter or distractions that take your view off of the subtle improvements that incrementally compound each time one step is taken forward. Purpose gives clarity, and clarity means more intentional decision-making. Consequently, a clear vision and intentional action gives an individual the courage to trust their convictions and emit the energy needed to act on these convictions.
Action
I remember playing “Steal the Bacon” in middle school. The intent of the game was to obtain as many points as possible to win against the opposing team. Three objects of differing point values were placed in the center with the opposite team, equally far away from the objects, and you would race to grab the items and bring them back to your side of the gymnasium. You and your team members were to remember their assigned number and patiently wait for it to unexpectedly be called. This game was quite difficult because not only did you have to run fast, but you had to have a lot of grit to shrug the opponent off of you as they attempted to “steal the bacon”. The three objects were distinguished by their values, one object being one point, another three points, and another five points, and you could only take one object at a time in the space of three minutes. Of course, everyone wanted to race towards and bring back the object of the highest value. However, the problem was “time management”.
I remember watching a a pair of opponents naturally attempt to get the five-pointer object. After struggling to drag the object to their team’s base, they both quickly raced back to the middle to grab the three-point valued object. Sometimes the person who achieved the five-pointer successfully took the three-pointer object also, leaving the other person with one-point. Besides the value, I always wondered what was so special about the five-pointer that made the individual willing to risk time and energy for naught. If they had the intuitive hunch that they were being dragged so far to the other side, why couldn’t they just drop it and take the four-pointer and possibly come back for the last object? The loss would significantly be less than the lack of obtaining points under the time pressure.
Ultimately, accomplishing in life is about moving forward, one small step at a time, and occasionally that requires settling for less if that’s what the moment calls for. Many times, perfectionists “wait for the perfect moment” with their eye on the biggest prize. Relentlessly, they exert and invest all of their efforts for something that is already risky, and when the time comes where it would be best to change the procedure and take a different route, they choose to remain. Many times, they end up with nothing. An attitude of proacting and open-mindedness towards changing gives an individual the leverage to be prepared for unusual opportunities. Sometimes you have to compromise high standards in pursuit of achieving some form of the goal. Opportunities that are currently available to you often pale in comparison to the more colorful and glimmering prospects you initially thought would support you best.
Outlet
Most likely, everyone has a perfectionistic tendency that sabotages them from remembering their vision and convictions. This undermines the motivation to impact, and ultimately deters the vision from coming into effect. That’s why it’s important to remember that outlets accept mistakes, mess-ups, incompetency, and ignorance. Trial-and-error is an important process of learning what there is to work with or refine, and outlets give you the space necessary to not only put much action into your vision, but to learn and explore.
Messing up and attempting new things, practicing, and refining what exists is ultimately the only way people discover how to accomplish things most effectively. While striving to do one’s best in a given endeavor is important, it is drastically more productive to focus on acquainting oneself with certainty as opposed to ideals. Perfectionistic tendencies cause one to move slowly, as the opportunities and potential to incrementally improve pass by. The only way to combat this is by redefining the purpose of each endeavor and consistently channeling energy through an outlet.
